Recently Dale and I attended a black tie wedding at Natirar Mansion in Peapack-Gladstone, NJ – just outside of NYC. It was STUNNING. We had a fantastic time in NYC but the highlight of our trip was the wedding. (Click Here to read our trip recap if you’ve got a bit of wanderlust!) I love weddings and I was so excited to go. Let me just say, I loved dressing up! It was so fun to pick the perfect outfit and go out with my husband in a tux.
I was a little intimidated at first when we received the invitation, since I hadn’t been to a black tie wedding before. I didn’t want to be the only guest there that looked like I was dressing up for prom, and I wasn’t sure what was actually acceptable and appropriate. Not to mention, our wedding invitation had actually gotten lost in the mail. SO even though the groom had called to invite us a month before, I actually didn’t find out it was black tie until the WEEK before the wedding. So I did a little searching to find out what the actual rules of etiquette were for a black tie affair. Much to my relief, at the wedding reception, everyone at our table said they did the same thing.
How to Dress for a Black Tie Wedding
What Men Should Wear To A Black Tie Wedding
A black tie dress code for men is a tuxedo or dinner jacket with matching pants- not a normal suit. The jacket usually has lapels and trim made of black satin. While black is the traditional color, and easiest to coordinate with, other popular colors can include midnight blue, grey and a few other classic colors. There are different options for shirts but the shirt frequently has French cuffs, which require cufflinks. And the tie, of course, is a black bow tie.
Cummerbunds are optional and you can choose what looks best for you. Dale didn’t wear one. Men also need to wear formal braces (suspenders). There are lots of colors to choose from and these are mostly hidden under the jacket, but they are not optional because belts are not worn with the pants. Nice shoes and socks, also, are not optional. Patent leather is the shoe of choice for most men. Absolutely no open-toed shoes, tennis shoes or loafers!
The easiest thing for men is to rent a tuxedo. Dale actually rented his tuxedo at home and we carried it on the plane to New York. That meant he could be assured of getting a good fitting tuxedo rather than trying to rent something in New York with no time to try it on or have alterations. And I’m sure we saved a little money!
What Women Should Wear To A Black Tie Wedding
There is definitely a fine line between dressing appropriately for a black tie wedding and looking like you’re trying to walk the runway at the Golden Globes or headed to senior prom. My advice is to stick to a timeless look. You definitely don’t want to upstage the bride and groom. Find a gorgeous but simple silhouette that flatters your body but doesn’t show too much skin. Women should wear floor length gowns to a black tie wedding. You can wear a nice cocktail dress as long as it is below the knees. But showing too much leg isn’t considered black-tie appropriate. In fact one site I looked at said only the ankles might show.
Rent the Runway is a great option if you have ample time to schedule out a rental gown. And I do like that they give you an additional size in the dress you choose for free (if it’s available). However, it’s hard to rent a dress with only a few days notice. And even though I did get a rental dress in time, it didn’t fit the way I expected it to. Rental periods are generally about 4 days, so by the time it gets to you, there’s really only a day or two to find a replacement if it doesn’t work.
Other accessories you’ll need include heels and a clutch, as well as elegant jewelry. Shoes should be formal shoes – no flats, boots or informal footwear. Your clutch can be a statement piece but at a wedding, I prefer to keep things timeless. It just needs to be big enough to hold your phone, cards, and makeup for touch-ups throughout the evening.
The whole look should be elegant – not flashy – in my opinion. And you can still have a gorgeous moment without being over the top.
Affordable Formal Gowns for Women
Like I mentioned before, I had a short amount of time to find a dress for a black tie wedding. And since we didn’t have a lot of notice, I also didn’t want to spend a ton on a dress I would only wear once. Formal gowns for women can run anywhere from $100 to $600 or $700. There was no way I wanted to spend that much!
One of my friends recommended heading to Dillard’s. So to the mall I went, looking for something elegant and sophisticated that wouldn’t break the bank. I ended up finding a gorgeous pink dress with a classy silhouette that would compliment my curves and not make me feel like a busted can of biscuits. There were also plenty of options online at Nordstrom, but the shipping wouldn’t have made it in time for our trip.
Here are some of my picks for affordable dresses for a black tie wedding!
Women’s Formal Shoes
I wore these nude heel sandals that I already had to save some money and they worked perfectly. I prefer to keep things classy and timeless when it comes to shoes, especially when there are wedding photos involved. Here are my recommendations for shoes that are black tie appropriate but will also stand the test of time.
Hopefully this post was helpful to you as you prep for your black tie event! If you have any questions on what I wore or the products I linked, send me a DM on Instagram! And be sure to Pin this post so you can refer back to it later!
